Seeking validation from ex is not about closure. You want proof you mattered, an admission that you were not replaceable, a moment where they confirm your worth. That hunger keeps you alive in the present moment of their life, even though they are not in yours. You say you want closure because it sounds clean and reasonable, but what you are really chasing is a refund for the humiliation of being left.
What Closure Really Looks Like
Closure isn’t a deep conversation over coffee.
Closure is silent.
Closure is you never getting the answers.
Closure is the ugly, boring process of moving on without permission.
The Closure Trap
What you’re really chasing is that one last hit.
One more text.
One more look that says, you were worth it.
The closure trap works like this:
You don’t need them to heal.
But you’re waiting for them to hand you permission to.
You’re holding your own freedom hostage until they say the magic words.
They won’t.
And if they do, it won’t be enough.
Because it’s not closure you’re after — it’s proof you weren’t easy to forget.
The Lie You Tell Yourself
You keep telling yourself you just need answers. That if you could understand why they left, you could move on. But deep down, you already know why.
The truth is, the need for “understanding” is not about information — it’s about connection. You want them to sit across from you, look into your eyes, and make you feel chosen again, even if only for a minute.
You are not looking for truth. You are looking for a hit of the very drug you claim you are quitting.
Breaking the Spell
The only way out is brutal: stop asking them to hand you the key to your own cage.
You don’t need their blessing to move on.
You don’t need their apology to reclaim your worth.
You don’t need their validation to know you mattered.
Closure doesn’t come from them — it comes from you deciding the story is over.
What the Devil Wants You to Do
Keep scrolling through their old photos at 2 AM.
Keep rewriting that “perfect” message you’ll never send.
Keep imagining how they’ll regret losing you.
Keep telling yourself closure is right around the corner — if you just wait a little longer.
The Devil doesn’t care if you heal.
The Devil wants you hooked on a conversation that will never happen.
People Also Ask
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Can you ever get real closure from an ex?
Rarely. True closure comes from your own decision to stop looking back.
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Is wanting closure normal?
Yes, but most people mistake it for a need for validation. The problem is when you let it control your healing.
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Why can’t I stop checking their social media?
You’re addicted to micro-doses of hope. Each update is either a high or a hit to your self-worth — both keep you hooked.
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Does asking for closure make me look weak?
It makes you look like you still need them to define your worth. And yes — people can sense it.
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Why does silence from them feel like rejection?
Because you’ve mistaken their attention for oxygen. Without it, you panic — as if you’re disappearing.
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What if they give me closure but I still don’t feel better?
That’s the proof — it was never about answers. It was about wanting to feel chosen again.
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Why do I secretly hope they’ll come back?
Because a comeback would rewrite the story in your favor. It’s not love — it’s ego rehab.
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Can closure actually reopen wounds?
Yes. Digging into the past often unearths pain you’d buried just enough to function.